Written by Julie Hatfield-Still, Brand Executive for the International Youth Coaching Association and President of Beyond The Game Alliance

A Letter from an Empowered Female Athlete

Dear Coach,

I don’t need you to lower your standards. I don’t need you to go easier. I need you to get smarter.

I don’t need another speech about sacrifice. I need a leader who knows how to adapt.

You tell me to “toughen up.” You tell me that emotions are weakness. You tell me to “push through.”

Don't you think I would have done it by now if I knew how?

You "preach" mental toughness but don’t teach it, and you certainly don't show it when you fly off the handle when things don't go your way.

You talk about a culture of leadership, but leadership isn’t yelling, swearing, or losing it over something minor. That’s not strength- that’s insecurity. And it’s confusing when the person who’s supposed to model growth is the one who needs it most.

You tell us to trust the process, yet you don’t trust us enough to listen...to actually hear what we are saying IN the process of it all.

You say you want to develop champions, but champions aren’t built by breaking them down until they crumble. They’re built by connection, by communication, by knowing that strength isn’t the absence of struggle - it’s the courage to navigate it.

When you ignore my voice, you lose my buy-in.

When you dismiss me, you stomp out my fire.

When you refuse to evolve, you lose my respect.

Coach, I want to believe in you, but you contradict yourself often. What you say and what you do, seem lightyears apart some days.

If I could tell you a few things and believe you would actually listen, it would be this...

Learn what drives us, what breaks us, what brings us back. Teach us, don't preach at us. We don’t need you to be perfect. We need you to be aware and willing to adjust.

We need to witness this, so we can learn how to do it too.

Own your own mistakes, so we know what it looks like to own ours. Open up, even when it's hard. Remain calm and collected in the face of adversity, for you can be an anchor we so desperately need in our own turbulence of life.

We are watching, and if you can meet us halfway --we’ll give you everything we’ve got, and that...will be more than you can ever imagine.

With grit, grace and greatness within,

~ The Empowered Female Athlete

Written by Coach Julie Hatfield-Still

About the Author:

Julie is an Author, CEO and Coach. She is the Brand Executive at the IYCA and the President & Founder of the Non-Profit Beyond The Game Alliance, which offers a full suite of workshops and support for teams and individual athletes. In addition to her work as a business consultant and coach of coaches, leaders, and entrepreneurs.

Julie is a Speed Development Specialist and Inner-Game Coach at the college, high school and youth levels.

Visit Julie’s Author Page

______________________________________________________________

Ready to Lead with Confidence, Not Guesswork?

At the IYCA, we believe that coaching is a profession of growth—and high-performing coaches are built on consistent habits, not just good intentions. That’s why we provide practical, athlete-centered education to help coaches at every level develop the skills, systems, and confidence to lead with excellence.

Whether you’re working with youth athletes just learning the game or preparing high schoolers for the next level, the IYCA is here to help you build the habits that matter most, starting with education.

Explore our coaching resources and certification programs: iyca.org

Need help designing a Coach Development System for your school, club, or organization?

Schedule a free consultation—we’ll walk alongside you to create a model that empowers both coaches and athletes.

📧 Email: [email protected]

If this resource sparked reflection or affirmed your mission—don’t stop here.

Get certified with the International Youth Coaching Association (IYCA) and gain the tools, science, and strategies to confidently support long-term athlete development.

Whether you’re working with beginners or elite youth athletes, IYCA certifications & programs are designed to elevate your impact.

Learn more and get certified today:

Certifications

Certified Athletic Development Specialists (CADS)

Certified Speed & Agility Specialist (CSAS)

Youth Nutrition Specialist (YNS)

Youth Athletic Assessment Specialist (YAAS)

High School Strength & Conditioning Specialist (HSSCS)

Because the best coaches never stop learning, and the athletes you serve deserve your best.